January 2013

It's been a while since I've posted so here's wishing you and yours a very Happy (belated) New Year!

Things I've been reminded not to take for granted this month:

• working hot water tanks
• husbands with untwisted ankles
• water service without main breaks
• cell phones that have not been dropped in a bowl of reserve drinking water
• healthy kids
• healthy ears (mine)
• sleep
• people who really care about me (thanks, if you're reading!)
• like my grandma says, there's no such thing as perfect
• working car batteries
• super wonderful clowns who had our kids in high spirits after a couple of ouchie vaccinations, thanks Sunny
• and the Caesar's Pizza guys who let me cut through their mini mall pizza place to get from parking lot to parking lot when I couldn't find a regular spot...and then let me cut through again an hour later with a newly immunized little boy. I said to them, "If you ever decide to have kids I hope someone is as nice to you as you were to me." and I meant it.

You know, the usual...

Anyways, I found a great recipe for my favorite Vietnamese dish - Charbroiled Pork Vermicelli (Bun Thit Nuong), here...

P.S. This website comes with free meal plans and accompanying grocery lists

I realized that toothpicks are the perfect size for kid fruit kabobs. Two pineapple and grape kabobs + 4 chocolate chips and a swish of whipped cream for dessert reinstated me as her best mom ever, phew...

This is not my photo, find it here. Obviously this is not a new idea - but who cares?!

I found The Eight Step Home Cure at the library so now I don't have to buy it and store it somewhere...

"About the Book: From not enough space and too many things to not knowing what color to paint the living room walls, many of us struggle with our homes. Now Maxwell Gillingham-Ryan, frequent makeover expert on HGTV's Mission: Organization and Small Spaces, Big Style, shares the do-it-yourself strategies that have enabled his clients and fans to transform their apartments into well-organized, beautiful places that suit their style and budget.Week by week, Apartment Therapy will guide you to treat common problems, eliminate clutter, and revamp even the tiniest space. Here is an eight-step process that includes:

• A therapeutic questionnaire
 to help you get in touch with your personal taste and diagnose your home's physical, emotional, and energy flow issues

• A prescription
 with recommendations for each room based on your needs and lifestyle: including tips on how to use color, lighting, and accessories

• A treatment plan
, including regular maintenance schedules to ensure the ongoing health of your space

• Illustrations of floor plans
 and decorative examples that allow you to visualize concepts before you begin

With surprising ease and without elaborate professional help, Apartment Therapy will help you clear a path through disorder and indecision, to reveal a home you'll love. 

Ok, ok,  warning/disclaimer/whatever about the book - the author (and co-founder of one of my favorite sites ApartmentTherapy.com) and his wife are splitting up...

"He believes chasing the perfect domestic life led to the end of his marriage, telling Page Six, 'You start out with certain hopes and dreams, and you get stuck on perfection." 
Excerpt here. 

That may be depressing, mostly for them, but it's a good reminder for me that a magazine style house doesn't = a happy marriage. But, both would be nice...hey, I'm only human.

Cruising through the holidays

39 days until Christmas.
It's a lot of time and a little time, all at the same time.

I  want to have a festive, relaxing and memorable Christmas. That's what I want so I'm working hard this year to give that gift to myself.

Last year we put up our tree on December 1st and by December 23rd I was ready for "it" all to be over. That didn't feel so great. In fact, it super sucked! I blamed it all on having put of the tree too early (sorry tree) but I really think that my state of disorganization > which lead to chaos, which leads to having nothing to wear to festivities, bad hair days, running around all over the place trying to pick up things, and so on, made the entire Christmas season feel like one big last minute rush.

Here's the truth, lots of women make Christmas happen. Lots. As my dear dear friend put it, "We are the Christmas Makers." It's an honour and a duty all at the same time. I didn't fully appreciate all the work my Mom did until I had children of my own. What? Christmas doesn't just happen by waving a sparkly glitter snow wand over your house and voila? Mom, thank you.

So, I need help over the holidays. Maybe you are ok, good to go and have little to no anxiety about gift shopping, decorating, meal planning, visiting, hosting, wrapping, eating too many cookies and having fun - I am so happy for you and one day hope to join you on the "other side."

But for now, if you're even A LITTLE like me, could use some guidance, need a planner to work through, have trouble delegating, get overwhelmed at the thought of being the Christmas Maker...maybe you could use this free FlyLady Cruising Through the Holiday Control Journal, maybe.

Other FlyLady control journals, here.

P.S. The Fly in FlyLady stands for "finally loving yourself," nice, isn't it?

Motherhood, starring Uma Thurman & The Last Day of Being 3

I caught Motherhood, starring Uma Thurman, on TV a while back and could not stop watching it. It bombed in theaters and I can see why. It's not made of all the things a typical Hollywood blockbuster is supposed to be made of. It's about being a wife, a mother, a friend, planning a birthday party, raising kids, being & staying married, having personal ambition, friendships between women, almost pulling a solo Thelma and Louise but coming to one's senses and so on. 

There's a part in the movie where Uma Thurman takes a Polaroid of her daughter on the eve of her 6th birthday and writes "Last day of being 5..." and the next night she takes another photo and writes "First day of being 6". She pins them to her bulletin board right beside photos from previous years. It got me right here. What a sweet sentiment. I took a photo of my daughter the night before she turned 3 and again this year the night before she turned 4. Please know this, I don't scrapbook, I tried a family photo blog, my kids baby books are part fabricated and I probably have 14,000 photos on iphoto i need to organize in some way other than monthly folders (but hey, it's a start)...I'm trying but not always succeeding on being a great memory recorder.

Anyways, Motherhood is funny and I'd suggest watching it for a good laugh and reminder that we're all in this together. Here's the trailer:

Chewing... chewing... chewing

We have a game we play with our daughter when she doesn't want to try a new food.

It goes like this,

Yuck, I don't like that.
Well, you said yuck, now you have to try it and we'll help you. Close your eyes and we'll feed you a bite.

This takes some time but eventually it happens.

Then we ask 3 different questions, something like:

Is it soft or hard?
Is it crunchy or chewy?
Is it sweet or sour?

By the time she's done answering the food is usually gone. Has she gagged? Yes. Has she survived to tell about it? Yes. Is this method of feeding a sometimes picky eater working for now? Yes. Good enough for us.

Still, sometimes I swear she says it's gross or yucky just because she can. The other night she ate practically the whole pile of BLECH on her plate.

Still, I thank her for it because it got me to thinking last night as I stood in line at the grocery store's job fair :

I've eaten a lot of things...but it's usually my pride that's the hardest to swallow.

Being a grocery store cashier may not be my pride's 1st choice of employment. But I'm lucky to have choices and maybe I feel sorry for myself, or dumb, just because I can. I'm still chewing on it. I should probably try asking myself a 3 different questions in the meantime to make the task a little easier...

Am I happy?
Am I strong?
Am I grateful?

Good luck with whatever is on your plate and know you're not alone. xo

Just thinking about babies...

Just thinking about (my) babies, and looking for inspiring & love filled quotes about babies and children...finding lots of funny ones too.


Children reinvent your world for you.
Susan Sarandon


A baby is God's opinion that the world should go on.
Carl Sandburg


Having a child is surely the most beautifully irrational act that two people in love can commit.
Bill Cosby


A baby will make love stronger, days shorter, nights longer, bankroll smaller, home happier, clothes shabbier, the past forgotten, and the future worth living for.
Author Unknown


Babies are such a nice way to start people.
Don Herrold


Now the thing about having a baby - and I can't be the first person to have noticed this - is that thereafter you have it.
Jean Ker


A baby is born with a need to be loved -- and never outgrows it.
Frank A. Clark


A babe in the house is a well-spring of pleasure, a messenger of peace and love, a resting place for innocence on earth, a link between angels and men.
Martin Fraquhar Tupper


Every child begins the world again.
Henry David Thoreau


It is the nature of babies to be in bliss.
Deepak Chopra


The moment a child is born,
the mother is also born.
She never existed before.
The woman existed, but the mother, never.
A mother is something absolutely new.
Rajneesh


You don't really understand human nature unless you know why a child on a merry-go-round will wave at his parents every time around - and why his parents will always wave back.
William D. Tammeus

A two-year old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top for it.

 Jerry Seinfeld

Chicken...

This post is dedicated to the CHICKEN.

Why? Because I've been up since 4:30 am (Why up so early on a weekend you ask? Well, I'm a human soother to our infant + snoring spouse + can't sleep because I know that the contents of our fridge, pantry and freezer need addressing and the grocery store down the block opens at 6 am - may as well beat the rush).

A) Going grocery shopping at 6 am on a Saturday is good. It's not busy and you'll find 90% of the stuff you need in stock. Going grocery shopping at 6 am is not good if you realize 9 hours later you've left the 4 KILOGRAM BOX OF FROZEN CHICKEN BREASTS on the basement floor beside the freezer. Oops.

What does a sleep deprived human soother do, exactly, with 4 kilos, or 8.8184905 pounds, of partially frozen chicken breasts (besides putting a few coins in the swear jar and thinking, serves you right for considering blogging how efficient and fabulous you were today, even though you've been up since 4:30 am)? You cook em. That's what (see end of post for more).

B) My husband laughed at me while I was trying to walk through the same grocery store parking lot in high heels a couple of years ago (no, we do not forget). We were on our way to a family photo appointment and I was trying to look the part. You know, competent, put together, pretty, a woman who hasn't lost herself in the process of becoming a wife and a mother. Whenever I try to look the part it always seems to lead to trying to hard + clothes throwing, bad hair, a few tears and regret for having not kept up with my most-fit-self-of-15-years-ago. To add insult to injury, I tried to direct the whole photo shoot resulting in a family photo that would have been the perfect poster title "Why you should not try to direct your own grocery store photo appointment. Really, it's a terrible idea". On a nice note, we ended up purchasing a very cute photo of our daughter sitting alone in a little chair, playing with one of the puzzles from the play area. It reminds me of how cute she was at that age and that I shouldn't try too hard. I digress. So, the heels and the mockery. Yes, I'm a terrible high heel walker, even if the heel is not high (1.5" to be exact). In fact, I've realized that I most likely resemble a CONSTIPATED CHICKEN while trying to walk in high heels, so it fits the theme of this post.

I started looking around the net as I was cleaning out my shoe collection and came across this tutorial - How to Walk in Heels & Stilettos =P. You know what? It's helped me. I like Wendy from Wendy's Look Book and since I'm rapidly starting to resemble a [INSERT SPORT OF CHOICE HERE] MOM, I'll take any help I can get. Until then I'll continue to carry a backup pair of shoes whenever I attempt a heel.

C) My maternity leave is coming to and end. I've been putting off making those kind of calls because I'M SCARED (AKA CHICKEN) of being rejected and was hoping a part time job would fall into my lap that gave me weekends, evenings and holidays off, wasn't too stressful and was close to home.

So far the only thing that has fallen into my lap that resembles some of my past employment experiences was some of the fouled water I scooped out of the future pool fouler's baby's bathtub tonight and into the toilet. 

TO THE CHICKEN. The bird my Grandma always said she felt sorry for, for having to lay all of those eggs day in and day out.

WHAT TO DO WITH  4 KILOGRAMS, OR 8.8184905 POUNDS, OF PARTIALLY FROZEN CHICKEN BREASTS

• Boil the mostly frozen ones for a while.
• Place the others in various baking dishes, drizzle with olive oil + spices (I used onion powder, garlic salt and paprika for one batch, Cajun spices for another, Jamaican spice mix for the third and made the last one plain) - bake at 350º F for as long as it takes to cook.
• Transfer boiled chicken to a baking dish, if you like, drizzle with olive oil and bake until they look more appetizing (just saying).
• Freeze chicken on baking sheets and write yourself a note (put it somewhere obvious - bathroom mirror?) to remind you to transfer the chicken to proper freezer bags/wrap in tin foil or butcher's paper.
• Congratulate yourself for making it work and for having some go to meals in the freezer (just add veggies/whatever)...maybe forgetting to leave the chicken out wasn't such a bad thing after all!

Book of Firsts for Parents - additions...

I think that new parents deserve their very own Book of First for Parents. It can sit right on the shelf next to their children's baby books.

This Book of Firsts for Parents [read the original post here] would not only serve as record of how your life changed after having children, but also as a way of bonding with them when they grow up. It  may even serve as a marriage saver when in the middle of it someone grabs The Book and instead of throwing it says..."Remember when?"

Like Baby's First Calendar, there would be places to add things to help document your life:

stickers: your drink(s) of choice (double double, frappuccino, glasses of wine, w-ever), take out menus, counseling appointments, check marks (ie. yes everyone was fed and clothed, for the most part, today), sayings like - Funny, I don't remember asking for your opinion, Where did the baby go? and Why does this laundry basket full of clean clothes smell dirty?

places to attach special photos: the house in shambles the night before (fill in the blank), outfits you wore when you thought you looked good only to realize that your husband should have told you people may confuse you with a crazy person (but he knew better, right?), how you looked from behind the night you went to the store with vomit (not yours) down the back side of your shirt, portraits of people without kids who gave you "good advice" on raising kids

Here are some additional firsts to add to the original list...

THE FIRST TIME YOU:

• Used a baby wipe to wash your face because you were late and the last to get ready, again, but at least it was a clean baby wipe...you think.
• Caught your husband on the ipad, under the covers, in bed instead of napping (b/c he really needed a nap) and sang"Busted, busted, Daddy's busted..." to your preschooler all the way out of the room while in your head thought, HA! At least I didn't get busted when I did it last week!
• Stopped yourself THE SECOND before you were going to apologize to that person in the grocery store for THEM running into YOUR 3 year old with their cart and started at them until they apologized.
• Realized that if you spent as much time cleaning your house and meal planning as you did online, things would be a lot different...eh, maybe tomorrow.
• Reconsidered your plea to family and friends NOT to recommend you to Stacy and Clinton's show What Not To Wear

Confessions and Funnies

Confessions:

• I've been eating 2 bowls of Lucky Charms a day because my 3 1/2 year old DOESN'T LIKE IT. (Why the heck did I buy her Lucky Charms, you ask? Good question. It has just a bit more sugar than her Alphabets and I thought she'd like a treat.) P.S. It's gooood!
• I'm blogging, pinteresting, etc. when I should be sleeping and/or cleaning the house (someone unplug my computer PLEASE!) I think I need to join a support group.
• When I feel like a bobcat would be a better way to clean up around here Sometimes (like Christmas Eve) I take photos of how messy our house is so I can look back (when my house is in constant perfect order, clean and purged - read this article, it's funny) and think, ah, those were the good old days.

Funnies:

• My daughter asked me what would happen if she put just her elbow in the closet and then closed the door. I told her to try it. She gave me the As If  look and said in all seriousness, "No Mom, tell me the troot" (truth)
• She also asked me where by "boob thing" (bra) was this morning before I got dressed and why I needed it. I said, "Well, it hold my boobs up." She replied, "Mom, what happens if your boobs fall down?"  Uhhh, I didn't know what to say! But I was thinking...tooooo late (!)

David Suzuki Foundation Website

Because I'm a big fan of David Suzuki's (and hope the planet doesn't collapse before I do) I sent Members of Parliament prewritten messages about a variety of issues...here.

Scroll through the list, if any of these issues are important to you, our your loved little ones, send a message and pass it on.

In addition, here's a confession. I feel guilty eating seafood. It's just how I feel. I know the oceans are in terrible shape and humankind is not being very kind to aquatic wildlife. There is good information about how to be a more conscious seafood consumer and even things to consider when eating out (sushi) related to mercury levels, etc.

xoxo

Christmas B•O•N•K•E•R•S

I thought I had things under control up until last night...not that I'm super organized to begin with but I was hoping a few would have been done by now things done by now:

• Christmas cards mailed
• House cleaned
• Laundry put away
• Grocery shopping done
• All simple, but thoughtful gifts bought/made and wrapped
• Basement reno done (this one's sorta out of my control)

What to do first, right now? Nothing. That's right. I'm done. This afternoon I'm going to try and take a nap. I have 1 hour and 50 minutes until my daughter  comes home from preschool. I'll get back to the list tonight after the kiddies are in bed...

So, from now until after the holidays are over here please feel free to check out the Christmas Posts from the past (there are some good ones, including my Grandmother's Carmel Corn recipe)...as I'll be sporting a rubber glove on one hand, an oven mitt on the other while the hot glue gun is heating up next to the cookies to be iced on top of the grocery list -BUT HEY - these are all good "problems" to have...and for that I am really grateful. 

Happy holidays and see you in the New Year!

P.S. Dear Mom, I now fully understand why your Christmas list had "A Clean House" on it...XOXO

Life is like a train ride...

Not every day is perfect and not every day is easy.
I've recently read something that resonated with me...life is like a train ride:

I can spend all my time at the front of the train, looking at what's coming.
I can spend all my time looking out the caboose, at what I've already passed.

[But what good does that do me?]

Or I can spend a little time in the front and a little at the back, but most (importantly) I can enjoy the moment I am in, looking out the window at what surrounds me.

A poem a day...

If you like poetry have a poem sent directly to your inbox each day.

You can sign up here.

Today's poem (from here):

From Out the Cave

by Joyce Sutphen

When you have been

at war with yourself

for so many years that

you have forgotten why,

when you have been driving

for hours and only

gradually begin to realize

that you have lost the way,

when you have cut

hastily into the fabric,

when you have signed

papers in distraction,

when it has been centuries

since you watched the sun set

or the rain fall, and the clouds,

drifting overhead, pass as flat

as anything on a postcard;

when, in the midst of these

everyday nightmares, you

understand that you could

wake up,

you could turn

and go back

to the last thing you

remember doing

with your whole heart:

that passionate kiss,

the brilliant drop of love

rolling along the tongue of a green leaf,

then you wake,

you stumble from your cave,

blinking in the sun,

naming every shadow

as it slips.

"From Out the Cave" by Joyce Sutphen, from Straight Out of View. © Beacon Press, 1995.

Still Updating the Baby Book...

Ok. Our daughter will be 3 in less than 3 weeks (what?! subject for another post) and I'm STILL updating her baby book. How is this possible? How can I remember what happened those sleep deprived days and nights ago? Well I'll tell you...it's been part improvisation as far as dates and first go (When did she sleep through the night? Really? I can't remember when I slept through the night).

I've put pressure on myself to fill in every little detail and there are so, so, many details I'm "supposed" to remember. Yes, I know I was "supposed" to fill everything in the first year, not three years later...but in time of warfare and pure survival the last thing on my mind was to grab the baby book and a pen.

 I did pretty well, I think. Even so, I still sat there the other day sweating over the blanks taunting me: "What?! You don't remember when your child got her 3rd tooth (really)?"... Finally, finally I resigned myself to the fact that I was not going to complete the book the way I thought it should be completed. I felt like I hit the wall and put the pen down. Done and done and done. I want to be the perfect mother but I know that perfection is boring and unrealistic. I'm trying not to feel guilty and you know what, a few days later I don't.

In fact I've got a great idea...

There should be a Book of First for Parents. Here are some momentous firsts I think would be suitable:

FIRST TIME YOU:

• though, oh God...what have we done?
• used your hand as a baby wipe
• accused your husband of "pretending" to sleep in the middle of the night so they didn't have to get up and attend to the crying baby (because they were pretending to sleep!)
• pretended YOU were sleeping in the middle of the night so your husband had to get up and attend to the crying baby (I recommend this)
• cried over a pile of laundry that seemed to multiply before your eyes
• felt like asking for a divorce when your husband asked, "what's for dinner?"
• tried to assemble an outfit that didn't have bodily fluid on it and accepted that this was no longer possible
• locked yourself in the bathroom and lied that you had diarrhea so you could just get a moment to yourself (I haven't done this, yet)
• considered grocery shopping as an exciting night out
• picked your child's nose with your hand, held it up and shouted, "I GOT IT!"
• decided that you may was well laugh about things or else you may as well shoot yourself in the foot (my grandma's suggestion)

I love where I'm at in my life. I know that it's going by way too fast and soon I look back on things like baby books I'll be happy I took the time to fill out the details (the funniest things so far are looking back at what my daughter has said at what age...). Whether it was April 28 or June 1 - who cares? Nobody will know but you.

What do you know, it's Wednesday...

I'm tired. The baby is sick. The house needs a good cleaning (walls and everything). I want our basement renos finished, now. We have paperwork to sort through and complete asap (as in four months ago). I feel like a nag and at the same time I don't want to do any of it...in fact I don't want to do anything...

Blah. It's Wednesday. It's supposed to be the original The We Can Do It Day but today it feels more like the I Suck and Don't Want To Do Anything But Run Away Day.

I want to feel better. So, with all that being said (and a lot more being held back), I'm going to try my best to have a better Wednesday...starting...now, if you'd care to join me...

This post (Trials and Tribulations of Motherhood) has a link to Karen Maezen Miller's Book and Blog Momma Zen. It's good. Here's a excerpt from her August newsletter that has been sitting in my inbox, unread, until today. I've copy pasted it all. Maybe you're lucky enough to be somewhere in the States and can attend a retreat? The links to the blogs are good (note: not all of them are Karen Maezen Miller's).

Voila. I feel a little better already.

The rest is easy

Let the future come to you. – Momma Zen

The future haunts these dwindling days of summer. Around the corner, school starts, if it hasn't already. Ready or not comes the rush and tumble of fall, the holidays – bam! – and the year's over. Or at least, we live that way. Are you living that way today? Racing toward the end of something? Getting ahead of yourself?
 
My daughter turned 12 last week. Yes, the baby in the book turned 12. She said to me "Mom, this year has gone by so fast!" Then I knew she had merged into the fast lane, the lane I'm trying to exit, where the days whirr past the window like tumbleweeds.
 
Here is your invitation to slow down for a day, to focus on the scenery and not the road. Ready or not the future always arrives on schedule. And this way, you might notice what is right here.

Mother yourself – Do you give yourself permission to rest?

Look at me – "What have you done with your life?"

Making a pie – The principal ingredient to human healing.

Taking some shots – Before the bus comes.

Showing up – To right here.

Easy ways in

The Art of Mindfulness retreat in Houston, Sat., Sept. 10. Having the good life is simple when you savor the one you have. Plug in discount code: MAEZEN for special savings on registration.The Practice of Everyday Life weekend retreat at Shambhala Mountain Center in Colorado, Fri., Sept. 16-Sun. Sept. 18. Deeply personal, deeply practical.The Plunge retreat Sat., Oct. 1 in Pittsburgh. The peace and patience you thought you'd lost forever.Love Beyond Limits workshop Sat., Oct. 22 in Athens, Georgia.

I'm Back!

I'm happy to report we've survived the first 4 weeks of having a newborn join our family. It's been and adjustment but luckily our son is a very easy baby, eats, sleeps and hardly cries. We're so happy to have our healthy children - not every day, hour, minute is perfect (aka boring) but we're all doing our best (sometimes our best is not so best-like) to get along, clean up, feed each other, pay the bills and stay connected to the "real" world.

When I think of being/becoming somewhat organized one song comes to mind..."Dream the impossible Dream." Maybe there are some good websites out there? The kind that make your life easier, that not just look good but are useful? If you have come across any re: parenthood and organization please please let me know.

Hope you're all well and enjoying your summers. I can't believe it's already August! So, with all that being said I'm Back to blogging!

On hiatus!

Our house is no longer out numbered 2 to 1 - our son was born on July 6, 2011 at 12:50 am. Get this, he was born in the VERY SAME hospital room we had when our daughter was born in 2008 (lucky number 27)! So, I'll be on bloggrt hiatus for a while :)

Hope all is well and xoxo from our house to yours.

Life without Oprah

Who am I kidding...I thought I'd go without posting a note about the Oprah & her show finale. I like Oprah and her messages about living your best life, etc. etc. I didn't know she was 30 when she started her tv career as we know it. It makes me feel like there's still hope for me as I'll be 33 this summer. I feel like I'm still trying to figure out what to do with my career. I wouldn't say I obsess about it (as much) but I really care about what I'm going to do with my life once our kids get a bit older and I return to work.

I have struggled trying to negotiate the family/work dynamic. Each woman is different. I wasn't ready to commit to returning to work and placing our daughter in daycare after my maternity leave. I am happy for each and every woman who finds the right family/work balance for her. Lord knows it's not easy. Although I did work part time for different employers I think of those jobs as filler gigs...not forever gigs.  In the meantime, these thoughts are drifting through the back of my head...like dandelion fluff on a windy day...


Honestly, I've had days where I feel like I'm being punished by the working world for not returning to work right after my maternity leave (and  P.S. all the "mothering is the hardest job in the world" rhetoric doesn't do much to make me feel any better). Some days I wonder why I spent all those years in university, was it a waste of time, money and effort? No, I don't think so... I just (still) feel confused. One positive thing that I've learned is that it doesn't do me any good minimizing how I feel or apologizing for feeling the way I do. I think we all feel things for a reason.


I don't want to be Oprah, or in her particular position, but did you know she's worth an estimated 2 billion dollars? I'm just saying. I know, it's inconceivable. From her website & her love letter to her fans,


"When I came here, I was about to turn 30 years old. I didn't have a vision or a lot of great expectations... I just wanted to do a good job and cause no harm...Two years later, when we went national, I remember at the time, Roger King told me that one station manager said that he'd rather put a potato in a chair in his market than have a big black girl with a funny name. (wonder how that felt? doubt it wasn't the last time she encountered adversity...)


What I knew for sure from this experience with you is that we are all called. Everybody has a calling, and your real job in life is to figure out what that is and get about the business of doing it. Every time we have seen a person on this stage who is a success in their life, they spoke of the job, and they spoke of the juice that they receive from doing what they knew they were meant to be doing. We saw it in the volunteers who rocked abandoned babies in Atlanta. We saw it with those lovely pie ladies from Cape Cod making those delicious potpies. ... We saw it every time Tina Turner, Celine, Bocelli or Lady Gaga lit up the stage with their passion. Because that is what a calling is. It lights you up and it lets you know that you are exactly where you're supposed to be, doing exactly what you're supposed to be doing. And that is what I want for all of you and hope that you will take from this show. To live from the heart of yourself. You have to make a living; I understand that. But you also have to know what sparks the light in you so that you, in your own way, can illuminate the world."


I'm grateful for the women in my life who have endured my chatter on this subject and just want to say thanks for reading. I hope that I find whatever it is I'm looking for and I hope the same for you (We Can Do It).

Soap Action Figures

I came across this craft and thought...my husband would think this is SO cool!!

I think this is a good craft that dads and kids can do together. Not that it would  mean less work for you (set it up for your husband to tackle, collect all tools and ingredients, print out instructions, possibly simplify instructions, probably clean up afterwards, provide a snack, etc., etc.) but I think it could make a really cute set of photos and some priceless memories. From here.

The Happiness Project

Have you read The Happiness Project: Or Why I Spent a Year Trying to Sing in the Morning, Clean My Closets, Fight Right, Read Aristotle and Generally Have More Fun. by Gretchen Rubin? I have and I liked it very much.

It took me about three months on the Winnipeg Public Library waiting list to get my hands on this book and it was worth the wait (I've been on a reading binge lately). In a nutshell, the author looks to boost her happiness quota by doing some soul searching, researching theories of happiness, developing personal resolutions to test some theories and increase her own happiness. Some other results are Gretchen's own Twelve Personal Commandments (listed below) and Four Splendid Truths (I'll let you check out the book for yourself).

Gretchen Rubin's 12 Personal Commandments

• Be Gretchen.
• Let it go.
• Act the way I want to feel.
• Do it now.
• Be polite and be fair.
• Enjoy the process.
• Spend out.
• Identify the problem.
• Lighten up.
• Do what ought to be done.
• No calculation.
• There is only love.

Why I like this book:

• I want to be as happy as possible too and I like the intriguing title
• Gretchen is married and has two children
• She's done a ton of research into happiness theory and incorporates and tests the theories the throughout the book (aka: the background research is done...but I have a list of resources I could investigate for myself, if/when I want to - and there is a comprehensive reading list at the back of the book)
• There are funny moments throughout the book
• Gretchen is really honest about how she feels about life in general (it's not always easy being a woman/mom/wife - especially when you want to be the best person you can be...because we care, right?)
• She's developed a corresponding website where you can start your own Happiness Project with the same tools she's developed - for Free (not all authors are so generous)
• I feel Gretchen makes no apologies for being less than perfect
• I like and appreciate the fact that she's willing to report on what didn't work for her
• This book has opened a door of self reflection for me where I feel no pressure...only possibilities.

I would suggest checking out the book before the website. In my opinion there's nothing holding a book, turning the pages and eventually finishing it (an accomplishment in itself sometimes). 

I've bought/read/sought out a lot of books on personal development but this one is by far my favorite. It goes beyond what most of the other books did because I've felt encouraged and inspired to think about what it means to be happy (for me) and how I can take action instead of waiting for happiness to show up on my front door one day.

P.S. Yes, I am very happy and grateful for my life (maybe not ever second of every day) - but why not shoot for more of a good thing? Let me know if you read the book and what you think of it. 

"Happiness is not about what happens to you, but how you choose to respond to what happens. That's why it's called happiness not happenness—though it could be called hope-ness. You must always leave room for hope that all has happened for good cause." How to Be Happy, Dammit: A Cynic's Guide to Spiritual Happiness, by Karen Salmansohn.

We Can Speak Up for Ourselves

We Can Do It! We can speak up for ourselves. It's our right and, in some ways, our duty. If we don't speak up for ourselves who will (easier said than done, I find, but practice makes perfect).

This post is along the same lines of last weeks - it's about self care. Self care is a craft, so it belongs on this blog. Besides, it's my blog and I can write whatever I want!

Ever been "caught" in any of these following situations:

• Feel like someone has the upper hand over you for no good reason?
• You haven't said what you really thought/felt because [fill in the blank - mine is usually because I'm afraid of hurting someone's feelings or because I'm scared of potential consequences to follow - ie. someone being mad at me]...
• Feel badly for not sticking up for yourself or feeling misunderstood?
• Been insulted or too shocked to come up with a comeback, until 2 am the next morning?
• Feel like you're being taken advantage of because you're "too" nice?
• Etc, Etc, Etc. You get my drift.

Well, I'm pretty sure nobody learned to purl one stitch two perfectly the first time so consider all of those past circumstances lessons or practice for being the woman you really want to be. Sticking up for yourself takes practice and in our culture it's hard exercising this craft when the craft of sticking up for yourself is not really encouraged or rewarded. 

http://www.wendyshow.com

Bring in the big guns! I love the Wendy Williams Show. She's calls herself a "woman of a particular age" meaning that she's lived and learned. Part of her show is called Ask Wendy, and the general rule is if you don't want to know what she really thinks then you shouldn't be asking. Every topic under the sun seems to come up and I think Wendy has good advice for each and every audience member who has the guts to ask (including one liner come backs!). Her motto is "Say It like you Mean It" and she understands that being able to do this takes practice. If you're not sure how to get from here to there then some of her answers to particular questions may help you.

Other than this great feature - Wendy puts on a great show. It's filled with food, celebrity gossip, backbone building (aka Ask Wendy) and fashion. What more could a girl want in a daytime talk show? I have our PVR set to 11 am on FOX so I can catch the show after our daughter goes to bed if need be, otherwise our little one and I are dancing, singing and watching Weny (as she calls it) while we eat lunch during the week.

If we can learn to stick up for ourselves more and more each day then we can help teach our kids to do the same. YOU ARE WORTH IT! And P.S. wouldn't it be nice to dish some of those good one liners back at those offenders instantly instead of at 2 am in the morning in your head? I'm not condoning being mean or not turning the other cheek, but seriously, we're too cute to be doormats and if that person can dish it they should be able to take it. I'll be practicing, maybe in my head at first but I hope to be more and more ready each and every day.

xoxo